Put your damn phone down - First crush.

Personal reference.Group agitator.Life reference.Put your damn phone down is all of the above.

The curated collection of provocative questions spliced with raw stories resonates with teenagers and adults alike.

For example...Who was your first crush?

Well...who was it?

Mine really caught me by surprise.

Here’s the story...

My first crush was on a boundary umpire.Yes-an AFL football boundary umpire.The referee whose responsibility it is to ‘manage the boundaries of the field of play’.Should the ball stray from the playing field their job is to sound a whistle alerting both teams and the field umpire/s of the balls perimeter breach-before throwing the ball back into the aforementioned field of play.How complex.How perplexing to the uninitiated.Much like the realization that you have a ‘crush’.A crush on a boundary umpire.

I didn’t know what a crush was-where the mind muddling feelings stemmed from but I knew I couldn’t wait to play football each week.The male centric world of AFL football-especially back in 1986-hardly provided a fertile space to discuss feelings.Much less an environment to announce I had a crush on an umpire.

Thus I battled through that year of under 14’s football juggling the bumps,bruises,highs n lows,every cliche and the fuzzy feelings that became more intense by the week on my own.

I dared not tell anyone.

As one of the taller boys in the team I’d find myself positioned in the ‘ruck’ which saw me perfectly placed to knock the ball deliberately out of bounds so as to involve my crush with regularity.

And my crush never failed to deliver striding into full focus time and again.

Dressed in all white everything.She’d blow the small silver whistle attached to her index finger.And I’d melt.I couldn’t wait for her to collect the ball and fire it back into the field of play just for me to send it out of bounds again.

Use your phone to research iconic Aussie ice-creams like the Bubble-o-Bill,Golden gay time and Eskimo pie appreciating that a crush comes in many shapes and forms.And that most melt with time.

Hey - Purchase - Put your damn phone down - here.